Write it down and make it plain.

 UNDER CONSTRUCTION ........................ 

Family plea for reunification

My name is Caroline.  My younger brother Scott & I are seeking the love and compassion from the community to finally have our family together.  

Please allow me to explain:
This is me & my brother
we haven't seen each other in 10 years. 

We used to.  We used to be very close.  Our children are similar in age and we thought they'd grow up together like any other normal family.  But that's not what happened.  

A little history so you'll understand.
Our mother was or is, a toxic person.  I'm sure she did the best she could, with what she knew.  That didn't make it any easier.  

As we grew older there were boyfriends and husbands but none stayed.  I can't really blame them.  She had a frightening temper.  I recall sitting on my bed with my hands under my legs waiting for my mother to come in.  I was in trouble.  My stomache would hurt, my heart would pound, absolutely terrified of what would happen when she came in.  Most often she came in with a belt in her hand.  I was most grateful when she didn't have me drop the bottom half of my clothes for the whipping.  
The name calling she did to us was mean, vulgar, outright insanity.  
She's thrown hammers, dishes, pots of hot food at us.  
This is how we were raised.  It is very painful reflecting.  

I'm trying to show you our little world because right now we need you. 

As life moved forward we grew up, each of us making the best out of life with what we were dealt.  Honestly, we didn't have a good template, and I'm not certain we knew what we were really doing.  I think we just knew we did not want to be like her, and I'm certain we believed as she got older she would calm down.  

That did not happen.

2006 - We are in Indiana, we (as in my brother & I) have families of our own & they are growing with each other.  That is the foundation of our tiny family.  My brother & I.  We do not have anyone else other than our spouses plus children.  


This is my son, Daniel and Scotts daughter Trinity.


This is my son Johnathon & Scotts son Blaze

This is our hope for our bloodline.  To honor & love our children in the healthiest way possible.  

It all came to an abrupt halt, rapidly.

See, Trinity's mother passed away very young.  Killed in a car wreck.  And my marriage ended badly.  Scott and I decided to break away from the family without even telling each other.  We thought we were doing what was best for our children.  Scott, his spouse Tasha plus their children moved away.  It wasn't long after I found out I had cancer.  I tried to find my brother, but he did not intend on being found at that time.

I made it through the Cancer battle as a single mother and have rebuilt my life again.  
During the struggle to live, I realized I needed to find life in order to truly LIVE.  I had to get away.

I uprooted my boys and drove clear to North Carolina.  See, I always wanted to see the ocean and when the doctors told me they couldn't find any more evidence of cancer I KNEW that was my chance at life.  I've made many regrettable decisions in life in the past.  Here I was, told I'm going to be okay.  I'm going to live, not die.  
I needed to go more than anything.  Two years of inner healing and we moved to settle in florida.  

Here we are.  Through the years, I've tried to find my brother.  We we're so very close at one point.  I couldn't find him.  I resolved into knowing its just going to be me and my 2 boys.  That is really a saddening feeling.  No family get togethers, no Christmas dinners, no cousins or aunts or uncles.  I felt like a failure.  Trust that my boys are healthy, happy straight A students! I nourish their mind and heart.  I've also married and got a bonus son.  But, it's still just us.  The 5 of us.  I feel empty alot.

As for Scott.  It's just the 6 of them.  Same pathway, just a different place.  

He found me on Instagram a couple weeks ago!
He's been looking for years for me, but I didn't intend on being found for a while at that time.
We have tried saving & budgeting everything.  Truth is, money is hard for us raising our families by ourselves.  I've just begun my real estate sales career.  It hasn't blossomed yet.

Our oldest children are 14 now, their childhood almost over.  Please help us reunite them! Scotts tiny family is in Indiana, mine in florida. Please help us give them family memories of an aunt & uncle.  Of cousins.  Family!

These are current photos



Daniel & Trinity

And

Johnathon & Blaze




And this is all we have.  This is what it will look like bringing all of us together:


Thank you 
Even sharing this will get the word out.
God bless you

DONATE TO OUR CAUSE HERE

My first day doing "opportunity time" aka floor duty - *full of signs, wonders, miracles*

The view I had directly in front of me.  I felt super short, kind of blocked off.  But it was  my first day and I was EXCITED!

Once I saw my name finally on the rotation for opportunity time aka floor duty, I was a nervous wreck!  I felt unprepared, I felt anxious!  I even called and texted my best friend "M" to ask her what to do.  LOL I definately am an overthinker.  I knew to bring my cell phone and laptop, not much more was I certain of.

I settled myself in, propped open my laptop, connected my cell to my bluetooth and there I sat.  I smiled at everyone walking in, walking by or browsing through.  Most were other agents.  I really love people, I love being around them, talking to them and just being me.  A few people came in for appointments with other agents, a delivery driver needed to find the front office, but then a couple walk in.

I smiled warmly (I hoped) and asked if I could help them.  She said they were looking to buy a house.
This is a great start!  I ask if they have an agent they are working with in which they replied NO.  WOOHOOO! I was excited.  I asked them if they have a pre-approval, they say they are not working with a lender yet.

This is where my heart starts pounding ~ OMGosh what do I do?  It's only my first day!  I have never sold a house before!  EEEEEeeeek! Well I was in property management for 2 years, I just transferred into sales, Okay, deep breaths, this is what I went through IGNITE for.  I have them take a seat and I attempt to reach a lender (who I just met that morning) by phone, then I go right into the office where the most welcoming warm faced ladies are sitting, and I *whisper* ever so softly,  "M... there is a couple that just walked in, they are looking to buy a house, they don't have an agent nor a lender ... WHAT DO I DO?"  She smiles at me and says "That NEVER has happened ~ ever before, you have a unicorn"  I smile super big and says it's cuz its me!  (This will be for another post) she continues on in saying, contact a lender.  Which I reply, I couldn't reach him.  She then says there is a new lender upstairs, who's name just happens to be ANGEL.  Whoa.  I run up there, but he just left.  I grab the next guy and he agrees to be down in a few minutes.

Now, let's back up.

8 {EIGHT} days ago I posted this on my facebook and Instagram.  I prayed and prayed and prayed for just ONE CHANCE.

That morning I was meeting a lender for coffee at starbucks so I could learn about mortgages and loans etc ... I immediately liked the guy, he has a fun persoanlity and is very open minded.  It did not occur to me until today, his name happens to be CHANCE.  *** WHAT !!!! *** I know RIGHT!

And bring that forward to the lady in the office sending me UPSTAIRS to find ANGEL!

And then the whole idea of a buyer just walking right through the door on my very first opportunity day!  The mystical unicorn they say ....

I say ... GOD did that.  And he sent me the signs that it was HIM.  I got the CHANCE, I got the UNICORN, I went upstairs looking for an ANGEL.

MIND BLOWING.

The buyers are working on their pre-approval now with Chance.  They have some properties they would like to see ~ and I am in awe, once again, at the power, the presence, the divine interceding on my behalf.  I have BIG DREAMS ya know! I am going to change lives all around me ~ and it is all GOD's plan.  All of it.  Thank you Lord <3

My Idea of a woman was shady at best!

   

I am nearly 45 years old and I had not one single idea of what a "woman" is.  Until recently.  Unfortunately I believe there are a whole lot of other women out there who really don't know either.  This not knowing is having an impact on our relationships - of all levels.  I didn't know, for a long time.  I truly am sorry for that.  I now walk the path of discovering what kind of woman I really can be.  Let me explain: 

I grew up moving from California, to Oregon, to Washington, to Michigan.  Throughout this time my mother had married and divorced many times.  I did not know my dad, I would come to find him many years later, already broken from life.  His heart though ~ he had the most loving heart, and great intentions.  But, again, life happened.  His story is for another time and place.  As for my mother, she is a beautiful woman but life happened to her too.  It happened as she sought to be loved and accepted for who she is, not who anyone else wanted her to be.  She is headstrong and determined.  

Children truly do learn what they live ~ as adults we live what we learned ... 

As I entered my teen years, my attitude about life and love was very distorted.  I knew I was beautiful, not just pretty, not just beautiful, but absolutely beautiful.  I used this to my advantage many of times as I grew.  I tried to find love my way.  I tried to find happiness my way.  I tried to raise children and gain a husband plus the white picket fence.  That did not happen.  The worst times of my life seems like eons ago, a painful foggy crooked memory of my beautiful children and my painful life not adequately parenting.  I married an abusive man.  I became an abusive wife.  Instead of just leaving, instead of seeking help.  I became everything I never wanted to be.  I lost it all.  Really.  I still never could grasp what went wrong.  I had no real idea that there really was anything wrong at all.  I blamed every single other person in my life for how painful my life had become, I was turning angry and bitter.  

Fast forward 20+ years ... I learned of proverbs 31.  I had to know what it meant, I looked it up and I tell you as sure as the sun rises, something struck me.  It struck me so hard that my whole world was rocked from the inside out.  

I began examining myself.  I began questioning every piece of who I am as a woman.  I remember, I did something years prior with my spirituality.  This time, was associated with my identity.  I was shaken.  I read and absorbed, sought out and clarified.  I was not acting like a very good woman.  I was acting more like a man.  Not as in male, no.  Attributes generally identified with masculine energy.  I am not a man.  I never have been in any of my lives (I do believe in past lifes) and I know that my spirit is a woman too.  So.  now what?  I knew that actions speak much louder than words.  My sister once said to me something like "When being a woman, you don't go around telling everyone you are a woman.  You just show it, be it.  Everyone will just know you are a woman"  that stuck with me, years and years later, it stuck with me.  Thank you wise sister.  

I am not a perfect woman.  I do not think I ever will be.  However, I work hard everyday to BE a Virtuous woman.

Back to Adam and Eve.  It is said that Eve was created as a help-meet for Adam.  I do my best to keep our home fresh and clean, decluttered and good food.  Honestly, I fail often.  I am growing in my walk, in my life.  I, in no way, say that a woman is to cater to her husband.  But if we can bring his heart home - home, the sacred family space, this is most important to our  relationships, our lives are more in balance, in tune with nature.  Not perfect by any means - but Virtuous indeed.

Are you a Virtuous Woman?

* Advisory, post may be offensive to your own beliefs.  First I must advise, I write what I believe.  If it causes offense to others, I do apologize but, I will still write what I believe to be true, to change the ways of the world, to bring peace to us all. 

With that being said .... I believe men and women are not equal in all things.  Since the beginning, men have been hunter gatherers, providers, strong in all they do.  Women have born new life to our planet.  They nuture and love, guide and lead in a way only the woman can.  Some see this as yen/yang, some call this the masculine/feminine, some call it balance.  We have changed it, we have, if you will, thrown nature off balance. 

I went to look for biblical reference to a virtuous woman.  What might that look like? 

(credit: https://www.biblegateway.com/)

The Virtuous Wife

10 Who[c] can find a [d]virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From [e]her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

What does this mean for women today?  Today my interpretation is family oriented.  A Virtuous woman is one who does not bring chaos to her husband, meaning he can trust her.  She nurtures her family, lives uprightly.  Yeah it is OKAY for a woman to clean their home!  It is OKAY for a woman to run a business!  It is OKAY for a woman to inspire, uplift and minister to those who are needy - in ALL things of life.  Her children and her husband love her and look up to her.  She cares about her appearance.  She doesn't go to market (wal-mart) in pajamas - she is dressed nicely, after all presentation is key! When she speaks, she speaks from wisdom.  She is not speaking just to be heard.  Her words are wise, she watches and maintains her household.

I believe I have briefly covered Proverbs 31 and my interpretation of it, I would like to hear what others have to say, plus I have another post I am writing explaining how I began my desire to BE a Proverbs 31 woman.  

Vitiligo ~ my boy has spots!

To read the full article click HERE

FURdoption Option ~ Hatchi

This sad looking Yellow Lab / Golden Retriever is HATCHI.  And THIS is HIS STORY .....



My husband "Bobbie" has been bugging me for a dog.  Days turn into weeks, weeks turn in to months and months watch the year and the next go by.  I wondered if it was just a passing phase?  You know so many people who always claim to want a pet, but really they don't.   We were always so busy!  I was working beyond full time in property management, as he was always painting and getting units ready to rent.  We were super busy people, and had little to no time to add to our family, let alone to add a dog.  I did not mind having a cat.  Cats are simple.  Cats are pretty self sufficient.  But a DOG?? NO THANKS.  

One of the really cool things about us, is we knew quality over quantity.  Meaning, we knew we were busy people, which left our growing teen boys to amuse themselves while I was next door in my office.  One thing we were adamant on was family time.  Friday nights are movie nights, we would order pizza, and scroll through Netflix looking for that just right movie.  This particular Friday was like every other, we all gathered in the livingroom, bobbie is flipping through snippets on Netflix and getting votes from the 3 teen boys all lined up ready to watch.  They all agreed on Hachi.

I do recommend watching this movie, it is based on a true story.  By the end of the movie we were all drying our eyes and my husbands urge to have a dog has now multiplied.  

The next day, I get out of work around 1 and as a family we decide to go look in the shelters.  See what options there are.  We had become accustomed to browsing internet profiles on shelter dogs, but none really called to us.  

We arrive to the Humane Society, it really is a nice place here in Tampa.  We were greeted warmly, we were advised on our steps and off we went browsing the shelter.  We saw the most adorable wrinkly little puppies, and decided that was not the best option for our busy lives.  We must be honest with ourselves when considering bringing home another family member, could we honestly take care of a pet the way they need to be?  Continuing on we ventured up and down corridors, often covering our ears to the loud echoing barking of excited shelter residents.  We would stop and talk to the dogs, we would read their kennel card, even talk of the possibilities.  There are so many choices in adopting a pet.  None really seemed to call to us yet, and for that I felt bad.  Maybe dogs just aren't for us?  We are browsing a corridor and as we come to a kennel labeled GOLIATH, I am horrified by this beautiful black dog with blood pouring from its mouth, I made my kids immediately turn back.  Goliath had ate his metal dog bowl.  WOW!  Maybe a dog really was not for us!  We skipped the last kennel, there was only 1 next to Goliath, and sought out a staff to advise of his current situation.

Whew!  We needed a break.  We ventured outside for fresh air and regroup.  Grabbed a smoke and we were like - I just don't know!  Wow .. who knew chosing a dog would be so stressful?  This is a really big deal!  So many people don't grasp that.  It IS a big deal.  It's a life dependant upon human compassion, interaction & growth.  It is forever.  They aren't like our human children who grow up and venture into a life of their own ~ no.  It is a forever decision.  Please understand that when bringing pets into your home.

We head back inside and take the rest of the shelter residents into consideration, cats, rabbits, birds, and once again, dogs.  We knew our DIVA cat would not do well with another cat, that was out of the equation.  Rabbits, well .. they don't really fetch to well?  Birds are cool ~ but not exactly the companion my husband was seeking.  Onwards through the corridors back to the dogs we go.  Up and down the aisles, echoing barking screaming through my sensitive ears.  We find ourselves back to Goliath's spot which is now clean, and he is with the doctor.  Oh wait!  There is ONE MORE KENNEL.  One last cage we did not view.  On that cage was one big word that decided it all HATCHI.  My husband and I exchanged looks and says NO WAY!?! Are you friggin' serious? What are the odds??

Seriously.  
My jaw about hit the floor, our boys excitedly began retelling the tale from the movie the night before, my husband was just as flabbergasted.  NO - FRIGGIN - WAY?!  * *WAY* *
But, wanting to be thorough, we also picked another dog, and outside we went.  We tried to play ball, we tried to walk, we introduced the 2 dogs to each other.  Hatchi had just had surgery and was not feeling the best, and the other dog, well she was older and did not wish to be bothered by any young guy.  We let the staff return them to their kennels while we discussed.  Could we provide for him?  This is a HUGE decision!  Did we have enough time for him?  He is only 3 yrs old!  
The look in my husbands eyes is what did it.  It is like his long lost friend had been found - reunited at last.  Okay guys - let's do this.

We return to the staff and proudly announce our wishes to adopt HATCHI.  Formality paperwork, purchasing a collar, harness, leashes, bowls, balls & snacks PLUS the adoption fees and we were on our way home with our new boy.  

Hatchi is the best dog a family could ever ask for.  It's been almost a year now since we made that decision.  Over the past year he has become very much a housedog, he likes his ropes, he loves to play fight with my husband (have you ever seen a dog drop kick a human?) and he is slowly getting used to vehicle rides for his manicures.  

When considering adoption of a pet, please be honest with yourself!  We knew we did not like dogs that are lickers.  You know all over a persons face - that is fine for some, not for us.  We also knew we did not like barkers.  Bark if someone knocks, bark if you hear something creeping, but a quiet home is a blessed home - for me.  We found that in our HATCHI.  We were responsible pet adopters.  Please adopt responsibly.

02/28/2019 - Principals for our careers.

Applying principals to my career,

ASK = making the calls, ASK for the listing, ASK for the appointment, ASK just ASK.
SEEK = looking, its SEEKing
KNOCK = The dreaded door knocking ... KNOCK and the door will open ...

HI!  My name is Caroline.  {HELLO THERE} 

You all know, KNOW, that I have a RADICAL level of FAITH. If you don't know you should read my BLOG!  ALL OF IT!  

I am doing a NEW THING.  I am doing a NEW RADICAL THING.  I am applying Biblical verses to EVERY portion of my LIFE.  YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.

So I keep THIS sign in my bathroom.  My best North Carolina Friend had gifted one JUST like it to me.  It is one of my very favorites that has rung true before in a radical move I did in the past.

I am not a quiet believer.

I am not a soft spoken person.

I have a sternness about me.  I have a drive about me.  I have a determination and a mindset to be THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF I CAN POSSIBLY BE.  

Today I was on Facebook, and the person I look up to, I call her my mentor ~ she may not even know she is my mentor, had done what she calls a Prophetic Prayer Call.  yesterday.  Today I catch the replay and EVERY SINGLE WORD spoke to EVERY CELL IN MY SPIRIT.  She mentions the leaking pipes, she mentions other things that detail my crooked lil shack, and then ~ She says There is a lady in REAL ESTATE, my head spun, she says it all began in 2017 and I got CHILLS, she mentioned Atlanta, no I am not there BUT ~ when SHE lived in ATLANTA we had a phone conference in 2016 and SHE told me the Real Estate move I was considering at that time would be for me.  She relayed I would "Beast in Real Estate", she goes on and she says about CREDIT REPAIR, I nearly fainted.  She says at the end about the CAR INSURANCE!  

I am going to send her an email and see if she will allow me to use her link.  If so I will add it HERE, in this space.

So.  Now that I am all excited on today ~ HOW am I going to APPLY biblical versus to my life, my career, my marriage?  Easy peasy.

REAL ESTATE:  Ask, seek, knock ... simple principals the amazing instructors at IGNITE have been saying the past few weeks.  Make the calls, farm your areas, go DOOR KNOCKING!  GASP! The word does NOT return VOID.  So what is the PROMISE of this?  You WILL FIND.  *whoa* there is some heavy revelation.  There is room there for RADICAL FAITH.  Hmmmmm.  So.  WHAT am I going to do about it?  Well, what any RADICAL FAITH FILLED PERSON WOULD DO!  I am getting ready to farm my chosen area(s) I have them designated.  I have them waiting.  I also am making the calls.  My call list may only be 2 or 5 or 10 BUT I am SEEKING more.  I am SEEKING new avenues.  And lastly, I am going door KNOCKing.  Mhhmmm.  For everyone who asks ~ receives, for those who seek ~ they find, for those who knock ~ the door will be opened.  THANK YOU LORD!    

Wrapping up.  It is simple really.  The instructions say to ask, seek, knock.  The results is finding.  That right there is a supernatural, Holy Ghost, God spoken WORD that CANNOT return void.  Period.  

You will see.

Have a beautiful blessed day! 

02/26/2019 - Gifts of the Spirit - FAITH

     Growth is HARD. Change is HARD. 

     I feel like we have many layers of who we are. Over time we must shed some in order to gain new skin. We become the caterpillar and the butterly over and over again. Are you a caterpillar today or a butterfly? Me, I am a caterpillar. I am wrapped up in my cozy little cocoon as my whole life crumbles apart in my crooked lil shack. All the while holding on to the gifts of the spirit. Mainly FAITH. Mainly HOPE.

Gifts of the Spirit 1 Corinthians 12:8–10

1. Word of wisdom
2. Word of knowledge
3. Faith
4. Gifts of healings
5. Miracles
6. Prophecy
7. Distinguishing between spirits
8. Tongues
9. Interpretation of tongues

Let's take a look at FAITH for a moment.

Faith as small as a mustard seed.  We have all heard that phrase by now.  If not, you can find it HERE

What does this look like REALLY? When faith is a gift from the Spirit, it is a radical level of faith.  It allows one to do something they normally may not do.  It uproots like the mulberry tree and plants it in the sea!  Let me share with you.

I knew in my heart I didn't belong in Indiana.  I felt lost, alone, abandoned, & desperate.  I was dying inside and I KNEW it.  I was restless.  I tried rearranging our home over and over.  The restlessness did not pass.  I tried changing jobs, still I was so unhappy.  So restless. So alone.  Whether I pushed people away or was deserted, either or, I was alone.  I was restless, and I knew I did not belong there.  Toxic relationships were like poison to my soul.  I often would walk over to the park to sit on a small mound of sand next to the most beautiful little creek.  My sympathetic soul felt bad for the creek.  I apologized to it for making it feel like it wasn't good enough!  I really did.  See, in my heart I longed for the big wild vast OCEAN!  Every thought of it took my very breath away.  I was holding onto the hope of water in the middle of the desert.  There was only one thing I could do.

The very last day of school for my little guys came, I loaded what I could into my Jeep, rushing a little too much for fear I might change my mind again.  That I might talk myself out of it.  I crammed pillows and blankets, and two bikes into that jeep!  Along with what non perishables I had laying about and just a can opener.  I filled my gas tank and counted the money I had left.  $180.00 ... That was it.  ONLY $180.00.  Well, okay.  I knew I needed every spare penny I could so I did not pay for my phone service, (it was a pay as you go) which left me with no way to contact anyone, no GPS.  My plan was basic, old school.  Travel East until I find the Ocean and South until I find home.  I knew I would know it once I got there.  Stay on the Highways and stop at the rest stops to check the map.  Seemed easy enough.  I knew that I knew that I knew ~ this was IT!  The KEY I needed!  The level of FAITH that had me change my life so intensely, so radically that it could only of been gifted to me by GOD.  I was like a raging bull that day, and NOTHING, I do mean NOTHING was going to get in my way of finding my happiness.  Finding my healing.  Finding my purpose.  We made it to that beach.  We headed East all the way to Roanoke Virginia, then headed south all the way to Wilmington North Carolina.  We made our home there.  Blessings upon blessings upon blessings were showered onto us.  When the time came, God once again whispered, "Move" and I did.  Sometimes the method of transportation self destructs upon arrival.  Which it did.  But it got me where we needed to go.  I strongly believe God moved us out of NC for our own safety, for our own growth, to reach the destination he has waiting for us.  I am NOT at that point yet.  That is why I started this blog.  To share with you REAL LIFE.  To share with you what gifts from the Spirit REALLY are, in real life. 

I, in no way, am saying to you to do anything so radical.  I am not endorsing any kind of "do as I do" mindset.  What is right for me, is for me.  What God has for you is for YOU. 

If you are anything like me, you have questioned who or what God is.  Who/what does God do.  WHERE is God?  In the day we live in, the age we live in, it appears the belief in God is fading.  Changing, it just isn't cool to believe in age old things anymore.  We have shifted into counterfeits that morph the gifts bestowed to us into following different paths, I say to you ~ that is all they are, counterfeits.

Do you have a radical story of FAITH you would like to share?  Email that to me!  I would love to read it.

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Cancer and Cannabis Oil

I find this a very important subject for me ~ being I am a cancer survivor. The panic that sets in, when the news is given is severe. I know for me, I immediately played over scenes in my life, and things I still wanted to accomplish. I panicked for my two young boys, and I panicked for my older children. I did not trust these surgeries or the chemo, or even the doctors. So many times I have found crooked people in my life. Yes crooked officers, YES crooked government officials and YES crooked doctors. I feel I am able to speak about this now, because, it is a serious issue at hand. We all know Cancer kills. Period. And when we are diagnosed, we feel it a death sentence. I believe in alternative healing, because that is the only healing that has worked for thousands of years for thousands of civilizations. The thing is, and this is upfront honesty here. The world is not all rainbows and butterflies. A few years ago I thought I was "lucky". In the mix of the cancer, and surgeries and radiation iodines. See, I had a friend I sincerely trusted (and still do) when he found out I had cancer, he mentioned this cannabis oil. Rick Simpson Oil or RSO. It is very, VERY costly though. And I did not have any reliable funds. I received a package FREE of charge from an activist in the RSO industry. I thought this was a God send really. I did not know this person (on a personal level) nor did I know where or how he manufactured this oil. What I did do though was nearly lose my children, my life and my livelihood. I did not receive instructions with the package on how to use RSO for treating, I did ask for them ~ and received them in a message. It was late, I put the children to bed, I was settling down for the night, ready to clean up the house and relax for the evening. I then thought I should start this RSO. I was told just a small drop, the size of a grain of rice. OKAY I understood that. Not long, it seems like only minutes later, I knew I was in trouble. I wrote on a piece of paper "Rick Simpson Oil" and called my mother. "Mom, I need an ambulance" and passed out. When I was coming to, I saw my mother and several EMT's in front of me, I handed them the paper and passed out again. I come to moments later on a stretcher outside leaving the house and into the ambulance. I tried explaining ~ I have cancer, I tried this treatment. I don't feel well. And passed out again. I come to several times, and passed out several times. The emergency room was HORRIBLE. The staff very judgemental and brutal. One nurse slapped me several times in the face. I filed a complaint with the hospital and the medical board over hospitals, and it was indeed substantiated. A few hospital policies were changed over this. However, one particular nurse, forced a catheter for sampling (which was the "forced" issue in the complaint) I had bruises up and down my inner thighs from this. Testing supposedly showed several drugs. LSD, cocaine, etc etc etc THIS WAS NOT WHAT I BARGAINED FOR. Reports to child protective was made about me being a drug addict/ user/ abuser. It was such a horrible event. I was sick for over a week, with blank spots in my memory. I contacted my friend and informed him of what the hospital stated. He then contacted said person who manufactures. My biggest point here is this, with all the illness's and controversy, and medical oil uproar. One cannot, absolutely cannot TRUST THIS. It is very scary, very very scary being labeled something your not, fighting to keep your children, all because you wanted to live. I am not against cannabis oil, nor RSO, nor alternative medicines. What I am against is untrained individuals handing it out. I believe the facility should be very secure with minimal contact of people to ensure safe, alternative healing. If its going to be out there, as it has for us shamans since the beginning of time ~ be aware, be secure, be trained. Just because one can sew a quilt doesn't mean they should be in the operating room at a heart surgery.

Single parent.

~ I work really hard raising my boys. My goal has always been to bring up good, strong, moral, spiritual men into the world. Not lil players, not wandering bums, but good, very good men. I had my reading today via JoLynne Valerie we discussed my business ventures, we discussed my change in romantic scenery, we discussed beautiful angels. And its all relevant, all very important to me, however, I've been a single mom for a long time. I have been all alone for a long time. Very alone. My boys do not have the cousins to play with, the aunts to babysit and the uncles to rough house. Not the gramma baking pie, or chasing em with a switch (kidding, but you get it) Its been only me, for the greater part of 8 years. One boy is 8, one is 10 ~ so you see where I am. I have worried about how they are growing up, what kind of men they will be. Praying I have been giving them all moral codes they need for a good life. My one son, he has been my biggest rock, my biggest support through many times. And when I told him we were going to build a business selling jewelry, he was all in! We began in a different state, I created a small little supply of earrings, necklaces and bracelets. I then placed them in baskets. One day, the money ran dry. The kids needed things ~ and I had no way to get the stuff. My eye caught one of the baskets. I said, well ... if anything, I can try to sell this. I told the boys we were going on vacation soon, we needed to earn money. We gathered up our little baskets, and off walking we went. It was so very hard. It was emotionally hard, scary hard, and just plain new fear. But, when your kids are hungry ~ you have got to mommie up. My one son, he gave me courage, he gave me inspiration. He was the greatest ~ most confident lil business man. We spent two hours in our little town, going door to door with our little baskets. I felt awkward, on the spot, very nervous. My boy, he took my hand and said ~ Come on mom we've got some jewelry to sell! That moment. I gathered my courage, stuffed away fear and pride ~ and we steadily sold nearly everything we had over the next few days. The first day, we took our little earnings over to the ice cream store, bought a soda and some ice cream, hot dogs for the kids. This day, is what finally set into motion the building of a business. The filling of so many dreams. And my son, who motivated me, the son who inspired and worked and watched. Well, he is learning big things. He is learning about building a business from scratch ~ from the ground up. We are tightening our bond daily, and this little boy is going to grow up into the most beautiful man. And this is what makes it all worth it. All worthwhile. The little dark haired boy, who grows into the most amazing man.

Angel Reading 03/07/2015

We always begin with a blessing, a prayer, and opening to these readings. I like that. I like bringing about that certain feeling, that certain individual space. My life has changed dramatically this past year. And I am telling you, it is going to continue to change, continue to grow. I am making something of this life. I am so thankful for people like Jolynne, who open up to a higher life, who share insight, info and guidance so openly. Its not free, no, but it is not the thousands of dollars that other people charge. Those of us who have been in the lower pits of life could of never changed our lives at that cost. No, this is do-able. Okay, with that said, let's dive in to what this reading was all about: My Angel has a friend with her today, my Angel has been by my side for such a long time. I absolutely am thankful for her, I have so much love and appreciation for her. Anyway, her friend Angel is of a different rank, not that one is better than another, but it helps put things into perspective with people, to understand job positions and titles. This new Angel on the scene is about to shake things up for me. She says 2015 is literally my champagne year. LITERALLY. So, what is the first thought there? Wine bottles, champagne bottles, wine glasses. I am hearing that, and I like what it sounds like. But what does it mean? Continuing on, Jolynne states that SO MUCH is going to happen to me, (in a good way) that I am going to request an emergency reading, a life coaching session with her, so many decisions I am going to be making and I ask for higher, positive direction. OH I REALLY LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. There is something cool about this angel, she wears stars on her head, pointing to the sky going from star to star to star to star. This was different. Jolynne asked for clarification from her. Oh the beauty of it. What I gather is its like this, one happening in my life is going to be like "stardom" to me, amazing, awesome. And am going to move onward each to a new awesomeness, each to another stardom. This is beautiful. Like popcorn she says. You wait, you wait and wait. slowly heated one thing POPS and then another POPS and then before you know it, you got corn popping in a jiffy bag balloon. Its all coming atcha! The thought about this is, I know I will feel awesome, and a bit overwhelmed by it, and go running immediately to Jolynne to make some good, solid, sound decisions. I thank you Angels for your work in my life. I so thank you. She sees me toasting, literally with champagne. This theme is CHAMPAGNE. So, I am holding onto that. I am like ... whoa! Let's rock this! I was given some info regarding my next business adventures that I decided to keep *hush*hush* for now. It is something that I am choosing to let simmer awhile, all the while working out the details. My romantic life has shifted as well, I am okay with that though. My original mr. amazing has been removed from the options. It almost happened you know. I felt it, I knew it, but... it has changed. He isn't where he could be, he isn't stable as he could be, he isn't doing "the work" ... it is a bittersweet happening. Knowing you almost had it. The angels say they couldn't allow that in my life. Couldn't put me in that. I am thankful to them. Thankful for looking out, and sending in someone different. someone more suited. A spiritual man at that :) My dad isn't here any more either. I am okay with that as well. He is in a whole 'nother place, WITH his DAD. I can understand. I can relate. I am happy for him. See, I understand, over there is much different than it is here. and over there is beautiful, is the utopia I always dream of. I know one day, it will be my dad coming to escort me there. Until that time, I have a beautiful full life to lead here. My up coming Mr. Amazing is fitting the bill to exactly what I have asked for. He is a little thick, he has some nice trimmed facial hair, he is a blue jean and work boots kinda guy. His children are grown, he has been previously married and now a bit skittish to marry again. He carries a spiritual air/ vibe around him. We will first see each other (......) that my readers, is personal. I want to keep that at a distance, so when I do see him. When I do meet him, I will be able to share THEN. He is a traditional, kind of man... a man that will one day bring me a promise ring, who will one day have the discussion of more than any promise ring, of a beautiful dress, a beautiful life, the romantic person I am, cuz I need that. I have been holding out for that. I am me ~ a different life, a different person, different hopes, dreams and desires. Our rainbow ending will come. I am super excited. Super excited for rainbow endings, champagne glasses, beautiful boys that I have, my beautiful daughters .... I have big big big dreams, big hopes, big goals. and they are coming, all of them are certainly coming. And I am running with it! Many thanks to you that read this, to Jolynne for the readings, and most of all for the Angels in our lives, fulfilling hopes, dreams and goals. Thank you God ever so much. Have a beautiful day everyone!

Okayness.

I am in a place of okayness lately. See last week, specifically just this weekend, my electric was going to be disconnected. Usually I get close, and then panic when I can't foresee a way out. But this time, I did something different. I knew I had applied for assistance with my utilities, but it hadn't come in yet. So I decided first and foremost, I was NOT going to panic. I sought peace about it, inner peace. I didn't want the stress that emotions bring. I prayed about it as well. I decided I would attempt payment arrangements, asking to make the payment the following friday. With confidence, I placed my call. I explained I was calling to ask for arrangements on my service, that I was waiting for assistance with my bill ~ and that I just couldn't pay for another full week, and PLEASE don't shut me off. The lady then transferred me to another lady, where I went through the whole explanation once again. She says, let me look at your account. She comes back on the line and says, I see on the 2nd we received a credit for $300 ~ with a balance of one hundred and .... her voice faded off as I got all kinds of excited! I says OMGOSH! And she continued saying, so we do not need to schedule any payment arrangements with you at this time. She giggled from hearing my excitement. It feels good to be okay. Letting go of stress, worry, depression. It feels so good, and even better when there is a positive outcome. I know for certain, that ordinary things aren't the answer. Things come at just the right time, just when we need them. I know God has a hand in that, and those beautiful, serving awesome life changing Angels. Which begins my next post, on my most recent Angel reading ......

Reflecting 02/27/2015

Tonight I have finished up a new design, I really love it. I sat looking at it for awhile ~ just in admiration. Last year, last February 27 (2014) I had NO IDEA on how to make jewelry. Very little repairs, and little adjustments to my own stuff, but to build a business handmaking jewelry ~ WOW! I ALWAYS give credit to the Angels, to my Angel reader, and to God. YES I know there is many beliefs, many religions, many ways of life. I have done my own search, my own seeking. (that is for another post) Looking at the items I am making now, I am in AWE. I look at it, and say ~ I DID THAT, ME. And I love it. I really love it. The past few months have been flying by for me, time seems to be in super speed. I don't know if that is part of raising vibration or not. Because when I was down, when I was severely depressed, time stood still a whole lot. Now that I am doing something creative, now that I am so much happier, time just vanishes. Weeks go by in what seems a day, months are just disappearing. I still have a long way to go, well, maybe not that long. On this business building stuff. Moving from the building stage, to the doing stage. What a sense of accomplishment I have. What a sense of doing something beautiful, something creative. I thank you all, everyone of you who read this. I like sharing our "story" of falls, and fumbles, to highlights and happiness ~ finding peace and joy. All in the pursuit of happiness. I am so very glad I begun this journey, I am steady looking for an avenue, an event. This is GO TIME. It is time to pack up what I have been working so diligently on ~ and venture out into the world with it. Wish me luck! If you click across the tabs at the top of the page, it says "SHOP" that is a direct link to my ETSY shop. Thank you everyone for helping me follow my dreams, to realize my dreams ~ to find my happy ever after! Blessings to you all.